Sometimes I like to think about situations I am in as if they were a movie or a TV show. Last night was one of those times -- as I sat in a fancy restaurant on a date enjoying expertly prepared food, while knowing in the back of my head that there was utter carnage occurring simultaneously in the 79 kitchen. I see this scene playing out as a back and forth between settings -- imagine my waiter describing the glaze on the persimmon I'm eating then cut to Jadler screaming at Gully while Elias and Pudge read the directions on a canister of bread crumbs. The Emmy is waiting.
Anyways, the point is that I missed a large part of last night's showdown and my only choice was to relive it through the Homeric storytelling of my friends and (more reliably?) through that ubiquitous and wonderful tool of communication and new journalism: Twitter. Here are some of the highlights.
The first thing that became apparent was that Jadler did not even make an attempt to cook anything. As predicted by 79Food analysts DH "Boomer Esiason" Adolph and Robby "Steve Smith" Perkins-High Jadler's strategy focused on making Elias do worse rather than his own success. Tales were related to me of Jadler's efforts to gain more time, as well as Gully's immediate grabbing of the reins. Well done Fernster.
One thing that escaped the lips of spectators but becomes apparent reading the Twitter feed is that Elias and sous chef Pudge actually displayed some alright cooking techniques. They chopped and mixed and made a pretty solid pie from pizza dough. Props for that.
On the flip side, it was readily evident from both Twitter and fans alike that the scene in the kitchen was absolute chaos. While the official title of the event was Iron Chef, the event ended up more like a mash up of American Gladiators and Extreme Home Makeover. I'm surprised no one signed Ryan Seacrest to host. There was food EVERYWHERE and inexplicably so. How was I to explain the cumin I found under the stove? What about the worcestershire sauce in the egg carton? The mind boggles.
For the sake of our Klout score I'd like to note how well we engaged the general populus in this event. Rumor has it that people were tuned in across the globe to the goings-on, showing that despite the goofyness of our actions people actual give a shit about what we're doing for the simple fact that it is entertaining. That warms my heart.
Due to the fact that I did make it back in time for judging, the last point that revealed itself was how irrelevant the actual food was. This was a bonding moment for some, a competitive exercise for others and an exciting battle for all. When it comes down to it, no one will remember who's cuisine reigned supreme last night, but we will remember the highs, the lows, the tears, the glory and the deep fried pie that Ferny made.
Party on.
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