From Nick Adolph’s Cookbook: Chil-Bo (Chili/Gumbo Fusion)

Background: Great recipes are born when Big Daddy Necessity takes Mama Opportunity out for a night on the town, gets her drunk, then seduces her back to his room to watch “Fern Gully.” I heard some serious bed-squeaking going on in my Croc-Pot last night, so I knew that today would birth a glorious recipe (don’t worry about how pregnancy works in this ridiculous abstract world I’ve created. This isn’t fucking “Inception.” I wrote this post in 10 minutes because I was bored. Deal with it). Anywho, I had a monstrous can of red beans that I wanted to cook up so I invented this recipe. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

1 large can of red beans. I’d say around 24 ounces, but larger works too. You could also get two small cans if you don’t understand economies of scale.

½ a can of corn (I would estimate this at around 1 ear of corn)

3 sausages, any type. I used spicy chicken, I would imagine kielbasa could also taste good.

2 red peppers

2 cloves of garlic. I would have used more but I was stealing them from Robby and felt bad taking more.

2 sweet onions.

Spices
I don’t claim to be a food expert. You can really throw anything in. Here’s what I used. I don’t have quantities because I don’t measure – I cook on raw instinct and talent. My kitchen presence is a whirlwind of raw emotion and profanity.  

Thyme

Salt

Oregano

Chili Powder

Paprika

BBQ Sauce

Cumin

I also would have used Cajun seasoning, but we didn’t have any.

Directions:

Seriously? You need directions? If something’s too big, chop it up. If it’s too small, you’re screwed. If it’s the right size, toss it in. If it’s a spice, dump it in. Don’t worry about cutting yourself, because chicks dig scars/ moody guys with dark pasts.

Serving Instructions:

Serve in a bowl with a side of sliced ciabatta. Garnish with parsley. Goes well with a dry white wine. Just kidding, eat it straight of the Croc-Pot. No dishes and you won’t seem like a pretentious douche. Enjoy!